two words: eviction party
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
