Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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