hell yes lets make some ravioli
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
