Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
