Pappa wants mamma naked
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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