YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
id be glad to
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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