Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
