If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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