Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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