We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
