Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
