Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
