I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
