What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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