I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
