fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
