Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
