New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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