I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
