You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
