so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
birth control should be required to get into college
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
