In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
