Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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