while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
