Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize