Your tits are I can't wait for
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
