I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
