he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
