I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Are we still banned from the library?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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