dude i'm inner monologue high
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
