I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
