The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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