I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
