You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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