we made out on top of his cat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
