my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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