Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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