I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
