Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
