Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
