First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So squirting runs in the family.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize