I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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