Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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