The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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