Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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