so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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