she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
