marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
