I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
