The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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