I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
