If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
