i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
