so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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