So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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