i would punch a child for taco bell
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
