I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
