My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
