The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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