i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
