Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
