The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
