So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
