I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
