He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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