i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
