Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
