ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
