fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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