I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just invented taco cereal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
