So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
