Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
