it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I don't think brook has ever known best
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
