I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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