yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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