Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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