used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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