It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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