apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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