pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
soo... how was my night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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