remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
